MR. DISSAPPOINTMENT

Now disappointment has stood in my doors frame
Knocking
For over 18 years
From before I was born
To the countdown months to my 19th year
Vapors of angst well in my eyes like red clouds of danger
Swimming fierce like sharks between my ears
Sharply turning
Hitting corners of my head constantly

Clammy hands clutching frantically at the doors handles to hopefully pull it shut

When disappointment gets impatient and yanks my door open with a fury
I stand there surely
With a strong stance
Opposing opposition
Standing face to face with disappointment
Toe to toe with disappointment
So close that if the screen door did not stand between us we’d surely kiss

I told you disappointment likes to come over my house and chill
Like nobody’s business, way past forever, hoping till infinity
That I’ll allow him to stay

He don’t get the message at the door
The angry eyes
The strong stance

Last time he came I told him to never come again
Cuz he had left my house in shambles for me to pick up the millions of tiny pieces
That fluttered in my house like dust in the mid morning summer sunlight
& as I swept them out with the broom of self control
I put my foot down & shook my finger right in disappointments face & told him,

“No More”

“You can’t chill at MY house,” I said
“You can’t eat up my heart for food.
You can’t sleep in my bed & keep me awake all night”
Telling him quick
Like an R KELLY track,

“I don’t know where you going,
But you gotta get the hell up outta here!!!”

& ever since he found out I wasn’t goin’ to be his side kick
His snack
His side dish
His meal his desert his night cap
Giving him words that cut deep with bad hurt
Letting him know with a finished answer that it ain’t gon’ work
And ever since
He been seen a little less and a little less coming back

Truth B Real